Scribbling away this morning, concentrating on doing my best from some random photo in a Patek Philippe magazine, I wanted to spend hours setting up and drawing and painting and experiencing the daylight. The circumstances of my life do not allow that at the moment. So, at the start of the process I thought, I must accept the results. This is where I’m at.
And then I remembered something I know so well but usually forget. Always, always, always, just as I am on the verge of creative breakthrough or about to start a new creative project — whatever the form or content — I feel as though I’m losing my mind.
In a sense, I am, because the structure of what is dissolves as a new form is created. Because structures and forms are all the results of thoughts, old ones and new ones, there’s considerable disturbance as the old dissolves and the new arises.
I’m in the process of setting up Life is the First Art, a new coaching program, which is awesome and profoundly consuming. Also, in teaching beginning drawing and watercolor, where the basic focus has to begin with the results on paper, I find my head in the results mode doing my own drawing but that’s where I was in the 1970s-80s. Not now.
Even though my students are viewing this blog in the context of coming into their own progressions, this practice is not about being critiqued for pretty drawings at all. Right now it’s just about the practice, getting to the immediate impulse unless I have time to craft something different.
I must remember that and honor it.